2025? we’re not tourists.
Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth; walk in the ways of your heart, and in the sight of your eyes; but know that for all these God will bring you into judgment.
Ecclesiastes 11:9-10
Lessons from 2024
After years of doing what others wanted or fulfilling the roles expected of me (28 years to be exact), I’m choosing self. As a first-generation American and firstborn daughter, perfection has always been expected. Any mistake feels like a domino effect, potentially misleading those who look up to you. You can’t go many places or do much of anything because you must be the perfect example.
2024 taught me a lot about family dynamics. As much as I’d like to be the fireproof insurance for the family… I am not God. For me, 2024 was a year of unexpected revelations—ones that left me broken and devastated. (When the time is right, I’ll share more on this.)
Through many tears and painful realizations, I’ve come to understand that no one is going to save me. Those I hoped would acknowledge my pain will likely never see it, let alone validate it. This led me to ask myself a long-overdue question:
Why am I living for others who will never accept all of me?
Looking at this statement now I… I don’t know where to go from there (& probably the reason why I’ve put this off for so long).
Huge side note but I think it’ll lead us to an answer.
The Tourist Analogy
Since you’re here, you probably know how much I love exploring new places. Travel has always been a way for me to feel connected to something bigger than myself. Rick Steves describes it best:
“ I don't travel to be a tourist I travel as a pilgrim (someone who immerses themselves in the culture, taking & receiving experiences to last a lifetime).
While I’m still discovering why I love exploring, I’ve realized that culture feels like a warm hug. It’s what binds people together, but only when it’s embraced as it is—without forcing it to fit into what we “know.”
I’ve come to believe that people treat others the same way tourists treat landmarks. They take pictures, skim over a plaque or two, and move on to the next thing. They stick to their native language, compare local dishes to their own, and struggle to adapt to new environments. Rarely do they immerse themselves.
The same applies to relationships. We approach others with expectations based on our own norms. When they fall short, we’re disappointed. And just when I thought I could point fingers at those who wronged me in 2024, I realized I’ve been a tourist, too—placing my own expectations on others.
Three Ways to Stop Being a Tourist in Life
1. Embrace New Perspectives
When I travel, I try to experience life as locals do—cooking meals with hosts, shopping at markets, or navigating public transport. Similarly, in relationships, observing and accepting others as they are can help you let go of expectations.
2. Respect Without Attachment
Not every place I visit resonates with me, and that’s okay. I can respect its uniqueness while deciding not to return. Likewise, I can respect my family while recognizing that their expectations no longer serve me. Boundaries are necessary to protect my peace.
3. Set Clear Goals for Yourself
Align your decisions with your values and aspirations. For me, this means prioritizing my relationship with my Creator and letting go of external opinions. Living authentically is the only way to honor my heart.
Cheers to 2025
In 2025, I’m releasing the need to control how people respond to me. The greatest disappointment in life would be living inauthentically. So here’s to a year of embracing challenges and prioritizing what truly matters.
What about you? How will you prioritize yourself in 2025? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
PS I can’t wait for us to see what this year brings for wheresmutanunow!! stay tuned for taking this platform more seriously in 2025 :)
tata for now,
xoxo
-Mutanu
